Fic: Exile: Chapter 13: The Recovery

Chapter 13: The Recovery

Ursa knelt by the side of her daughter’s cot, silent and still, barely breathing. She had placed Roku’s crown in Azula’s hands, then wrapped her own hands about them both. Aang, Zuko, and Shyu watched nervously. 

The rest of the group had been temporarily banished to the corridor outside, an order which had resulted in a great deal of agitation and argument, particularly from Katara, who was determined to see that Azula never got the slightest chance to hurt anyone again, and from Lu Ten, who was equally concerned that no one hurt his helpless cousin. Zuko and Aang did their best to reassure him that no harm would come to the girl unless she forced it by her own actions. Lu Ten did not seem very reassured, but in the end there simply wasn’t room in the small cell for more than the four of them plus Azula. As Aang shut the windowless cell door, his last sight was of Katara’s worried eyes.

They had been prepared for some showy, glowy kind of spirit world activity when the crown was placed in Azula’s hands, but they had been disappointed.  Nothing visible had happened. The only unusual thing was the continued sense of heat coming from the crown. Azula had continued to toss weakly in her delirium as Ursa took up a meditation position at the side of the cot and began attempting to reach her daughter’s mind. Aang had offered to try to help awaken the girl, much to the consternation of most of the rest of the group, who tried to argue him out of it. Zuko didn’t try to argue, but his face clearly showed that he thought nothing good of that idea. For better or worse, it had been decided that Ursa would be the first to try, thanks to the terrible history between Aang and Azula that would be unlikely to foster trust in Azula’s mind.  Shyu also offered to attempt the journey, but he was a complete stranger to Azula, and she was unlikely to respond to him either.

Zuko tried to squelch his private thoughts that said Perhaps it’s for the best if this doesn’t work. His mind was a whirl of conflicting images – Azula tagging along behind him at age six, begging for a game of hide and explode; Azula on her ship, lying that Father had forgiven him and wanted him home; Azula begging him for help in the caves beneath Ba Sing Se; Azula’s mad eyes as she turned her lightning on Katara. He wondered, and not for the first time, how different their lives would have been if they had grown up allies, like Sokka and Katara, and not as enemies. Was there any chance at all that they might start over? Or even just move on, and find new ways to behave with each other? His hand drifted to the star-shaped scar on his chest.  It didn’t seem likely.

He wondered, for the hundredth time, what his mother would do when it became clear that Azula was irredeemable.  Would Ursa really leave him again?  Of course, wherever she and Azula ended up, he would know where she was and would be able to visit, but that seemed a very poor meal after six years of starvation, particularly when all her time would be spent with his sister. Could he order her to leave Azula, on the grounds of Ursa’s own safety? He could perhaps force the issue, but he knew he would never again have his mother’s trust if he took that route. Would it be worth it, if he thought it was necessary to keep his mother from dying at her own daughter’s hands?

Zuko forced himself to stop thinking along those lines. He tried instead to focus on a calming breathing meditation, to think of nothing but that, and to simply await the outcome.

When it happened, they almost missed it.  As time passed, Azula’s breathing gradually slowed and steadied, and the blind, seeking motions of her head and body stilled.  Finally, after nearly an hour, she muttered something under her breath, and opened her eyes to look up at her mother’s relieved face.  Zuko noticed that Ursa’s expression was not completely without wariness, however – something he was very glad to see.

Azula’s strong, commanding voice had gone weak and dry, but it was still recognizably hers. “So you’re really here,” she said to Ursa, her words rough and whispery. “I was sure you were dead.”

“No,” said Ursa. “And neither are you. Welcome back, my dear.”  She took her hands away from Roku’s crown in order to caress her daughter’s hair, which the Sages had trimmed short. The lustrous shine, black as raven wings, had gone dull and brittle during Azula’s illness.

Azula’s hands remained on the crown, without seeming to be aware of it. “Could I have some water, please?” she murmured. “I’m very thirsty.” 

Shyu reached down to help her sit up, and Zuko and Aang both took an involuntary step away from the cot. Azula noticed the motion and looked up at them. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the sight of the two of them standing side by side, watching her warily. A ghost of a smile flickered around her lips as she noticed their alarmed stance, but she said nothing. Ursa handed her a cup of water, and she drank deeply for several long moments. Finally, she cleared her throat, locked her eyes on the Avatar and her brother, and said, “So, will there be a show trial, or do I simply disappear?” She looked around at the walls of her cell. “Or have I already been disappeared? Does the world think I’m dead?”

Zuko started to say something, stopped, frowned, then began again. “You haven’t disappeared, or been tried. You’ve been ill and out of your head for several weeks. The Fire Sages have been taking care of you. It’s not my policy to sit in judgment on the gravely ill, Azula. As for what happens now that you’ve recovered, if you have -- that remains to be seen.”

Azula cocked an eyebrow at him. “Are you suggesting it would be in my best interest to continue to be a madwoman?”

Zuko’s eyes narrowed. He took a breath, trying to remind himself that he must not allow her to make him angry. “I didn’t say that.”

“No, you didn’t.”  Her golden eyes regarded him steadily, traces of amusement and contempt both visible. “But I have to wonder if those are my choices. Will I live locked in an asylum the rest of my life? Or if I refuse that fate, will my illness become suddenly fatal?”

“That’s not how I do things, Azula. Murdering inconvenient people in their sleep isn’t my style,” Zuko said, not bothering to add, Though it would probably be yours.

“Hm. I imagine you’ll outgrow that if you manage to hang onto the Fire Throne long enough. That hairpiece you’re wearing says it is you in power, right? Not Uncle Kooky?”

“Uncle refused to take the Throne.” Don’t get angry. She likes it when you’re angry.

“Of course he did.” She coughed, and took another cup of water from Ursa’s hands, draining it quickly. “It’s rather dim in here, don’t you think?”  She flicked her fingers at one of the lanterns.

Nothing happened.

Azula drew in a shocked breath. Zuko frowned, suspecting a trick. His sister repeated the motion, a simple bending intended to cause the lantern to burn more fiercely.  But the fire did not respond.

For a moment Azula’s composure cracked, and a flash of panic showed through. Then the mask closed down again, with only her slightly wider eyes and faster breath showing a hint of her real feelings. “This…what’s happened to me?”

“You can’t firebend?” Zuko asked, very much distrusting this new event. It would be a typical Azula trick, to pretend to weakness and then catch them off guard.

“Not…not really,” Azula said, the smallest quaver in her voice. “I can feel my own energy, feel the flow, feel the fire – but it’s just…not responding.”

Ursa shot a look of terrible suspicion at Aang, but he shook his head frantically. “I had nothing to do with this, I swear! And besides, her bending’s not gone – I can tell that much. It’s just…blocked somehow.”  He looked at Zuko and found the young Fire Lord looking back at him in the same sudden surmise. “Oh – you think it’s like that…?”

“Like what?” Azula demanded, looking not at all pleased to be the one not holding the secrets at the moment.

“Well, something like this happened to Zuko right after we brought him in with our group. His bending got really weak. Almost useless.”

Azula looked like she wanted to grind her teeth, but was refusing to allow herself. “It certainly didn’t stay that way!”

“No, it didn’t,” Zuko said, thoughtfully. “But this might not be the same thing. My firebending got messed up because –“ He stopped, and studied his sister’s face. “ – because of something I don’t think applies to you, Azula.”

“Yeah, doesn’t seem likely,” Aang said, doubtful. “It might just be some kind of shock after you went wild during that Agni Kai. Or some kind of overload from the Comet, maybe.”

“How very convenient,” Azula said, a definite edge of venom in her voice. “No more Agni Kais between us, eh, Zuzu?”

“I wouldn’t fight one with you anyway,” Zuko replied. “I’d only do that with an honorable foe. You proved you weren’t one when you attacked Katara during the duel.”

“When I…?” Azula frowned and touched her head. “Oh. Yes. I remember.” Unconsciously, she tightened her hands around Roku’s crown. “That…that was wrong. That’s not the right way to fight an Agni Kai.”

“It certainly isn’t!” Zuko snapped, looking at her sharply. He wondered if she had truly recovered all her faculties – sometimes she seemed like the old Azula, but then that mask would waver, and he would see what looked like a flash of someone else – someone who had once said Zuzu, look! Watch me firebend! and These are my new friends from school, Mai and Ty Lee! This is my big brother Zuko. I call him Zuzu but you can’t do that, only I get to call him that, because he’s a Prince.

He wished, very very much, that he dared trust her even the slightest little bit.

Azula rested her head in her hands. “Excuse me. I’m…rather tired.”

“Aang, let’s go outside,” Zuko suggested. “We need to talk.”

Aang nodded, and they left Azula to the attentions of her mother and the Fire Sage.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“I haven’t heard any ka-booms,” Sokka said, pacing up and down the corridor. “There should have been a cell-shattering ka-boom by now. What’s going on in there?”  He reached for the handle of the cell door, but Suki blocked him. “Oh, come on, Suki, what harm could one peek do?”

“If there’s a ka-boom, as you put it, it’ll probably happen just as you open the door. And I like your hair the way it is – I don’t need to see it on fire, thanks!”

“Toph, can you hear anything yet?” Katara asked. The waterbender was nervously twining two strands of water in and out, as if weaving a liquid blanket.

“Nope.” Toph shook her head. “Whatever the wall’s made of, it’s a good insulator. Sorry folks.”

“Thanks for trying,” Ty Lee sighed.

“No problem, Stretch.”

“It’s dragonbone,” Iroh said. The group looked at him, and he clarified, “The wall – it’s made of dragonbone. That’s why these are the Dragonbone Catacombs. Dragonbone is light, but extremely hard and durable, and it does not burn. That is why all of the Fire Nation’s most important documents are stored down here, in rooms built of dragonbone. And that is why Azula is being kept in one as well. So she is no danger to anyone in the outside world.”

“But Aang and Zuko are on the wrong side of the wall,” Katara fretted. “One good fireball and she could take out the two of them plus Zuko’s mother and that nice Sage.”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Lu Ten protested, not for the first time. “Look, I’ll believe you when you say Ozai’s been a very bad influence on her – especially since Father confirmed it – but she’s not an unthinking killing machine.”

“You didn’t see her at the end of that Agni Kai,” Katara said, her tone heated. “She was out of her head, literally spitting fire everywhere. Ask Zuko if you don’t believe me.”

Lu Ten recoiled slightly from Katara’s vehemence. “I didn’t say I don’t believe you. I just – look, she’s my cousin and she’s not even fifteen yet. Nothing you say is going to make me think of her as some kind of monster. Sure, maybe she’s gotten out of control – I was pretty wild at her age – and confused, but –“

“I’ve never met anyone less confused than Azula,” Sokka chimed in. “At least, not until I heard about what she did during her one day as Fire Lord, anyway.”

Lu Ten threw up his hands. “Sokka, what would you think if you got taken away for seven years and when you came back, everyone told you Katara had become evil incarnate?”

“Honestly, I wouldn’t be completely surprised,” Sokka said. 

“What?!” Katara glared at him and made a dangerous-looking ball of water with one hand.

“See what I mean?” Sokka said. “And you haven’t seen half the stuff she can do. But I get where you’re coming from – I wouldn’t give up on any of my family easily either. Just be really careful, would you? Your father and Zuko seem glad to have you back alive, and I think they’d be pretty upset if you made a mistake with Azula and wound up lightning-bolted for your trouble.”

Lu Ten started to frame a reply to that, when the door to Azula’s cell swung open and Aang and Zuko emerged. Mai stepped over to Zuko’s side and slipped an arm around his waist, which he accepted gratefully.

“So, no ka-boom then?” Sokka said, earning him a himself a look from Zuko that he had mentally dubbed the “Sokka-Is-Strange Stare.”

Aang picked up on his meaning easily, however. “Nope. No ka-boom. In fact it looks like she couldn’t make a ka-boom right now even if she wanted to.”

Ty Lee and Mai exchanged a glance. “Why not?” Ty Lee said. “Did you, uh, you know, do your Avatar-thing -- ”

“No, no, no,” Aang hurried to say. “Really, I had absolutely nothing to do with this. Her bending is still there. She just can’t use it.”

“So, she’s like Zuko at the Western Air Temple?” Sokka asked, looking intrigued.

“We don’t really know,” Zuko replied. “That happened because of everything I’d been through. Because I’d rejected my father’s philosophy of fire as a solely destructive force and didn’t know how else to interact with it. I know Azula’s been through some turmoil, but I wouldn’t care to bet anyone’s life on her having a profound philosophical insight of some kind that’s completely changed her world view.  In fact, she seemed normal, other than the bending problem.”  He stopped and thought for a second. “Well, mostly normal. For someone who’s been out of her head for over two weeks, anyway.”

“Well, I don’t really care why it happened,” Katara put in. “I’m just glad to hear it. It makes her a lot less dangerous.”

“Don’t underestimate her,” Mai said quietly. “Even if her bending is actually messed up – which I wouldn’t be too quick to believe --  she’s still a very dangerous fighter, and an even more dangerous schemer.”

“Good point,” Toph said. “Like, I can’t even check to see if her bending’s really gone south or not.”

“So the question now,” Aang said, “is what do we do next?”

“Do we have to do anything?” Suki asked. “I mean, okay, she’s not going to die, and her firebending is pretty much taken care of. Can’t she just be left here under the guard of the Sages?”

“I’m not at all comfortable with that,” Zuko said. “Too much potential for disaster. Not to mention, if she’s truly recovered from her breakdown, she shouldn’t be under the care of the Sages. She should either be locked up in a real prison….or let loose.”

“Let loose?!”  Katara dropped the water she’d been bending and it splashed to the floor. “You can’t be serious!”

Zuko shook his head. “I’m not, not really. It’s just too dangerous. But unless I’m going to be exactly the same kind of arbitrary ruler my father was – and Azula herself, too, however briefly – I need a real reason to lock her up. Or…send her into exile.” He didn’t need to mention that exile would mean he would lose his mother a second time; his downcast expression said it for him.

“Trying to kill you and Aang isn’t a good enough reason?” Toph asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“It’s a good enough personal reason, of course,” Zuko said. “But look at it from the point of view of the average Fire Nation citizen – Aang was definitely an enemy combatant in Ba Sing Se, giving her not just the legal right to do everything she could to stop him, but, as a member of the ruling family, the legal duty.”  He sighed. “And the same basically goes for me.  I did join the enemy and turn traitor – trying to kill me was, once again, her duty. The fact that she enjoyed it is…not necessarily relevant. And unlike Ozai, she didn’t commit any war crimes in Omashu, Ba Sing Se, or during her short time as  Fire Lord. So if I have her imprisoned, what’s my excuse? I need something, even if just as a pretext, awful as that sounds. Otherwise I’m just another Fire Nation dictator – with good intentions, but still just a dictator.”

“So, maybe you can’t have her locked up for what she did to you and me,” Aang said, “But what about what she tried to do to Katara?”

Zuko thought that over. “Well, Katara also comes under enemy combatant. But breaking the Agni Kai in order to attack a non-participant…hmm. People won’t like that at all. The fire challenge is pretty much a sacred ritual with us….” He nodded slowly. “Yes, that might be something I could use. What do you think, Uncle?”

Iroh stroked his beard. “I think any excuse you can find to keep your sister from becoming a problem again is a good one. I am very glad to hear you are committed to trying to be a fair and just ruler, but it will come to nothing if Azula seizes power.”

“I know.  I’ll do everything I can to prevent that – as long as it doesn’t make me into the kind of ruler Azula herself would be in the process.”

The door to Azula’s cell clicked open again, and the discussion stopped as everyone looked to see who would come out.  It was Shyu, a distressed expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Zuko asked. “Did Azula do something? Is Mother all right?”

“Oh, yes, Lady Ursa is fine, but wishes to remain with her daughter for a while longer,” Shyu said. “Azula has made a…difficult…request of the Fire Lord, however.”

“Does she get to do that?” Sokka said.

“She can request all she wants,” Zuko said. “That doesn’t mean I’ll say yes. What is it, Shyu?”

The Fire Sage grimaced. “I wouldn’t even ask, except the girl says Lady Ursa promised her this.”  He took a deep breath. “Azula officially requests that she be allowed to meet with her – er, your – father, Fire Lord Zuko.  She wants to talk to Ozai. In private.”

To Be Continued